Bridesmaid Mania - What's The Point? Part 2

Well I said this blog would contain random musings about relationships, break-ups, divorce, etc., so here's a random musing...

In Part 1 of this post, I disclosed that I had previously been a bridesmaid in 8 weddings, 6 of which ended in divorce. That's about a 75% divorce rate...Sheesh! That 's simply awful, but the topic for another post.

I remember, being admonished that the role of the bridal party is to stand as witnesses before God to the covenant relationship. I was also instructed that if either of the parties (bride/groom) were found violating their covenant relationship (the marriage) that I had the right to tell them they were wrong and remind them of the vows they had taken before God and man alike. Well, I held up my end of the bargain...yet they still divorced.

Let's take a trip down memory lane...

Here's how the whole bridesmaids role began (per Wikipedia):

A bridesmaid is a girl or young woman who attends to the bride during or after a wedding or marriage ceremony. Traditionally, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age. The principal bridesmaid is called the maid of honor (or matron of honor if she is married). A bridesmaid is often a close friend or sister. Often there is more than one bridesmaid: in modern times the bride chooses how many to have. Historically, no person of status went out unattended, and the size of the retinue was closely calculated to be appropriate to the status of the personage. (Okay, we knew that!)

In early Roman times, bridesmaids formed a kind of bridal infantry as they accompanied the bride to the groom's village. This "protective shield" of similarly outfitted bridesmaids was supposed to intervene if any wayward thugs or vengeful suitors tried to hurt the bride or steal her dowry. (Thank goodness for the police...unless of course you are Rodney King.)

However, the Western bridesmaid tradition seems to have originated from later Roman law, which required ten witnesses at a wedding in order to outsmart evil spirits believed to attend marriage ceremonies. The bridesmaids and ushers dressed in identical clothing to the bride and groom, so that the evil spirits would not know who was getting married. Even as late as 19th century England, there was a belief that ill-wishers could administer curses and taint the wedding. (What about the evil people who seek after and enjoy relationships with married men and women? How do we ward them off?)

Why did you become a bridesmaid? Even better, would you do it again?

Bridesmaid Mania - What's The Point?

Over the years, I think I have been a bridesmaid in approximately 8 weddings. Yes we went all out... dresses, shoes, jewelry, special hairstyles, nail appointments... the works. In addition, to being the bridesmaid, I assisted with the planning and possibly paid a portion of the bridal shower, not to mention the fact that I purchased bridal shower and possibly bachelorette party gifts.

Practically speaking, of the 8 weddings to wit I was delegated bridesmaid responsibilities - 6 couples divorced, 1 couple cancelled the wedding one month prior to the scheduled nuptial date (yes the dress and all alterations had been paid for), and 1 couple will celebrate their 12th wedding anniversary in 2008.

According to Conde Nast Bridal Media's "American Wedding Study" 2006 statistics reflect:

• Brides have an average of 5 bridesmaids in their wedding.


• Based on 2.2 million weddings per year, there are approximately 11 million bridesmaids each year.


• There are 44,230 weddings every weekend, 23 million bridesmaids and groomsmen, and almost 380 million wedding guests.


• 64% of brides have their bridesmaids dress identically.


• Bridesmaid's dresses cost an average of $691 total, figuring to be $138 each with the average of 5 attendants.

Based upon my experience, I ask...where did this tradition begin and is the expensive, time consuming ritual worth continuing?