Hair Salon Discussions - Domestic Violence

While sitting in the hair salon, we had a great debate over the treatment of men and woman in the court system when domestic violence is involved. While all agreed that domestic violence is wrong, there was a distinct underlying bias toward women.

Argument A: One woman, in a nutshell, argued that they didn't care one way or the other if men received harsher penalties than a woman for the same offense. The justification was based on the fact that the likelihood of a man causing significant harm to a woman is far greater than a woman causing lasting harm to a man. Additionally, the sheer numbers of men abusers versus women abusers speak for themselves. Men are far more likely to abuse a woman than the other way around. Harsher penalties for men should send a message.

Argument B: One woman argued, does it really matter who can cause the most damage? What matters is that a person, whether male or female has the right to expect that when in the presence of another individual to feel safe. Safety includes without the threat of being abused and if abused that the legal system would be just and swiftly punish the abuser. The numbers don't matter. If we excuse bad behavior, because it's a woman, what are we teaching our children? What example is society setting?

Argument C: Finally, a third woman argued the motto, "If you do something harmful to me...shame on you. If you do something harmful to me again...shame on me." Basically, people are crazy these days and you cannot expect the legal system to protect you. Your number one defense is you. If you - whether male or female find yourself in a domestic violence situation for the first time, you are a victim. After that initial situation, it is your responsibility to protect yourself. If that means never coming in contact with the abuser again, then that's just what you have to do. Thus protecting yourself from being abused again. If you repeatedly find yourself in an abusive situation, then you are the problem.

What do you think?