New Year's Resolution

It's that time of year again...resolution time. Oftentimes people make resolutions to lose weight or get out of debt or start a new business. All of which are great, but are external.

This year focus on the internal you...

• Determine to achieve emotional healing from a break-up or divorce.
• Re-establish who you are in your new single role.
• Make a commitment to re-build family relationships. It is therapeutic!
• Commit to replace negative feelings (bitterness, anger, strife) with positive feelings (peace, hope, love).
• Terminate toxic relationships. You know the kind that evoke pain at contact or leave you feeling empty and drained.
• If all else fails, don't be embarrassed to seek counseling. It works!

Sometimes resolutions are difficult to keep. Make sure they are S-M-A-R-T:

1. Specific - be very clear about what you hope to achieve.
2. Measurable - identify ways to measure your progress.
3. Achievable - don't try to boil the ocean. Even if your resolution is lofty, break it down into smaller, easily attainable chunks.
4. Relevant - setting resolutions for the sake of setting them is a waste of time. Commit to a resolution that is meaningful to you and makes you a better person.
5. Time-bound - don't commit to resolutions that will take you five years to achieve. It should be achievable in its totality during 2008.

Involve your close friends and/or relatives by sharing your resolution and asking them to hold you accountable. Make 2008 your year of emotional success!

Holiday Cheer?

They say the holidays are a difficult time of year for those experiencing a recent break-up or divorce. Especially if children are involved, which now requires splitting the holiday - Christmas Eve and Christmas Day or possibly not seeing the child until after the holiday. Even if you don't have children, not seeing your Exes family members that you may have grown close to over the years is tough. The holidays may even feel lonely or depressing.

This year, shake holiday blues by basking in the true joy of the holiday season. Remember that we celebrate Christmas because of the birth of Christ, God's ultimate gift to mankind - humankind, for the feminists. Take time to remember blessings you may have received during the last year. We often overlook good health - mental and physical. The support of family is yet another blessing. Simple things like food, clothing, and shelter are often taken for granted, yet are wonderful blessings - ask the homeless guy that sleeps under the downtown bridge. Remember a special birthday celebration or outing with your children. Don't forget the macaroni necklace your 4 year-old made in daycare for Mother or Father's day that brought tears to your eyes.

If you find your emotional state to be more than you can handle, seek counseling. Your health insurance company, neighborhood church, friends and family members will be able to provide you with a referral.